Help me, i cant take it anymore.?

Help, Back a couple years ago i was ually abused by a male. i was 8 at the time. I'm now 13, but since like 2 years ago, its had many repercussion on me, my mental status, and believe it or not, my ual orientation. But however, I know it in my heart i'm not gay. There's just been so much going on, i can't keep up. I get gay thoughts in my head, but, i know im straight, but just very confused. I won't accept it. How i get rid of those is living alone, but i dont get to do that often so, it doesn't matter. I had a preminission about me growing up and marrying a woman when i was a yonger child, i never forget that vision or dream. PLease what can i do